just want to write for nothing.. just wanna write..

I don't know why i suddenly remember this blog. It's been a long time since the last time i wrote on this blog.. Here, the place that i've been used to throw away my thoughts.

Anyone read this shit?

i dont't think so. even so, i guess that person just close this blog page and said like "whatever, i don't need your shit". hahaha

i just want to share my thought, tonight thought..

i just watched a movie titled "Laura & Marsha". An Indonesian movie. It was kinda rare for me to watch Indonesian movie all of a sudden. Actually I'm just care with movie that my friends told me it's a nice movie or I've browse and it have a good rating.. i just fell want to watch this "laura & marsha".

So let's talk about the movie.
This movie is about 2 woman do travelling to Europe. Marsha is kinda easy going girl, and Laura is kind a straight well-organized woman. On the way to Germany, marsha invited a guy, named finn, to joining their trip cuz he know how to Germany and he heading there too. Cuz the guy pick another way without telling Marsha and Laura, Laura getting mad and throw the boy out from their car. Skip for here and there story, Laura and Marsha go to Verona to search Laura's husband whos missing like 4 years from Laura's life. they're going there cuz laura's husband was send her a postcard with a pict from verona. When they got Verona, they got some reality that the sender address is wasn't from Verona but from Venice. And they come to venice, find the address, and actually it is Finn house.Finn tell them the reality 'bout Laura's husband. there Laura got the reality that 4 years ago her husband get sick and died in venice.

When Laura got the reality that her husband is sick and dead 4 years ago, my tears just run down to my cheeks.. really.. i don't know what was i felt, but i just cry a little. then the credit title come, i just wiped my tears, and go out from my room, drink a lot, lot, lot, water. sit on the dining table, and thinking but i don't know what i was thinking about. But suddenly something came to my brain, n i felt like something squeezing my heart. i came to remember someone that i ever waited like for three years. wait in vain.

Some friends said that i am too much to him, like every time i am seeing someone, i just back comparing the guy that i am seeing to him. I think about my friend words like for a few days.. A think i did comparing any guy whos with me with him. I did bad thing, i know.. Sometimes i hope that he was really asked me to marry him, and by now i am just a married woman and no longer live in Bandung. But, other way, i am realy, realy glad i am not a married person, i still can do whatever i wanna do without have to think about my husband or maybe child..

I won't lie bout what i feel. i don't feel anything to him, but i won't lie that i am keep searching a guy like him.. really. When watching Marsha and Laura, there was a scene that Marsha and Laura had an argument. Almost all of what Marsha arguing bout Laura is what i've been thinking. WHY WAS HE LEFT ME? it was because of me or because of him? why do i like a guy who always do something in unexpected way? hmm.. i don't miss him, i just miss a person who knows me better.. a person who knows to deal with me.. a person who can makes my tears stop without saying "please don't cry"...

ahh.. just it.. i feel sleepy.. nite whatever you are who read this. thans for read this shit.. :p